Wednesday, September 17, 2008
College Essay
Being in front of the camera had been my favorite thing to do when I was six years old. Dressing myself up with bright pink lipstick, a glittery pink and purple ruffle dress, feathery white sandals, and a silver blue shiny crown. I clearly remember taking the camera from my parents room and asking either my mom, dad, or sister to take pictures of me. Twirling around in circles, curtsying here and there, posing after every snap shot, made me feel like a little princess. When I was eight years old, my mom decided to put me in a modeling class, known as Vogue's Modeling. She thought since I liked posing at home, that modeling every weekend for two hours would rather be exciting for me. Although, it was, then after a couple of months, I was drained. I began losing interest in modeling and posing in front of the camera, that I did the full opposite twist. I started taking pictures of people and different things. Taking snap shots of people when they are talking or doing something ends up being a picture that makes me fall off my chair backwards laughing with tears running down my face. I begged my dad everyday for my own camera. I waited for three long years, then Christmas came. Not only did I get a camera, but also, a video camera as well. I was totally stoked. I was on the side trying to figure out how to use them, like a little kid and their new toys. I was so eager to try out my "new toys", that I ended up being too attached. Everyday I would play with my camera at school or at home and my video camera for special family occasions. I did not know that you could edit pictures and videos at that time. I was later told about a program called, "Photoshop" does all the tricks for you and your pictures. I then asked my dad to upgrade the program onto my computer. I was amazed of what it could do, although I only knew the basic editing like clone stamping, opacity, brighten, and darken. I had created and edited amounts of pictures throughout the years. Taking pictures and editing them, was a hobby. Freshman year came, I was registered into Moanalua High School. I was enrolled in a program called, "Mene Mac" for GE (Geographical Exceptional) students. Since Moanalua is not my home school, I am required to be in Mene Mac. It is a program that media deals with media. It was my freshman, that I was introduced to another program called, "Final Cut Pro". It is a program to edit videos. I simply was surprised. It was a struggle at first, but then I tweaked a bit during lunch and after school, which made it fun for me. I got use to the different techniques of Final Cut Pro that I enjoy creating music videos, campus stories, and earth month videos. Throughout the years as I still attend Moanalua High School, I learned about NAT(ural) sounds, good lighting, B-rolls, different angles, the sequences(wide, medium, and tight), and good story lines. Creating a story line of my own and then creating it through film, is something I enjoy doing. I watch the news to help me get the idea of a good show.I also read to help me write an accurate script for my story line.
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3 comments:
The camera must love you.
I like how you started off with talking about how you would dress yourself up.
I could really imagine you as a little girl twirling, dancing, and prancing in your girly outfit wandering where ever you pleased.
Although I may add that instead of using "little princess" you could put > glamourous or stunning princess that made every one go weak in the knees. (It's just a suggestion) :]
Instead of saying a modeling class, known as Vogue's Modeling.
You could just put, "..my mom decided to enroll me into Vogue's Modeling."
or "Taking snap shorts of people when they are talking or something"
You could write, "Taking candid shots of others somtimes ends up being a picture that makes me fall off my chair backwards, laughing with tears running down my face."
"trying to figure out how to use them, like a little kid and their new toys."
You should remove the comma, add a period.
Then begin the sentence with "As if I were a child recieving a new toy on Christmas day."
You have a a few grammatical errors.
Just know that I made a few suggestions, I hope their helpful.
It's a rough draft on it's way to becoming "a master piece."
Good Job Bestfriend!*
:] Overall, you stay focused on the entire "media/pictures/loving the camera" idea. I enjoyed it, trust me.
Good job saying how you liked modeling around the house when you were six. You should list reasons why you began losing interest in modeling, because it sounded like you were really into it before.
I liked how you used modeling to introduce the subject of wanting a camera and a video camera, but you could also give examples of what other things you took pictures of instead of just people, how you played with your camera at school and home, and what kind of special occasions you used your video camera for.
You do a good job saying how you use media today, but you could also say what kind of different editing techiniques there are in Final cut Pro.
I am guessing that the spacing and repetitive words in the same sentence were because of rushing, so just fix those and the grammar will be okay.
Lastly, make a conclusion for this essay. For example, you could say how using cameras and video cameras relate to you, or how much it means to you.
Hi Ariel,
Like Megan and Bryan, I think your introduction about being in front of the camera was a good way to start off. And, although I don't think you need to dwell on the modeling part or the getting tired of modeling, I think Bryan's other comments on the specifics that need to be added to the essay are "spot on." He is also accurate about the mechanics that need to be cleaned up in your final draft.
Megan makes some good suggestions on using words like "candid shots" to make the writing more concise and improve Word Choice.
Bryan's advice about the conclusion is excellent, too. I think that connection could be made to your college aspirations, as well, since this is a college application essay.
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